Ian and I went to see the comedian Aziz Ansasri last night and it was hilarious. That may have been because before the show we were people watching and there was AMPLE material to watch. Here’s my beef, guys. I understand not wanting to get dressed up. I also understand the excitement of getting to “go out” followed by subsequent overdressing. There is, however, a middle ground. I will help you find it. Here is what I saw last night that did NOT look great:
-Venom Sweatshirt and Beard. Please don’t wear a sweatshirt out. If you need to be warm and casual, invest in a track jacket. Much cuter and more stylish.
-Hot pink dress shirt. I don’t care if you have the complexion for it dude, your shirt looked like my post-its and that is NOT a good comparison.
-Tiiiiiiny little man shirts. Look, I get that you go to the gym. Good for you. However, wearing a size “s’medium” that looks like it was painted on, no good.
-Button up dress shirt untucked. Unless you have something OVER it like a sweater, no go. It looks sloppy and weird.
-Light colored jeans. No. Never. For any reason.
-White Air Force One’s. Nope. You know my feelings on white shoes that aren’t Converse or Adidas.
-Pleated pants. No pleated slacks guys. Ever. Pleats make you look fat and boxy and they are NOT stylish. Flat front is the way to go. #TeamFlatFrontPants
And the Pièce de résistance of the evening:
-Super tight Affliction t-shirt, cut off jean shorts and … a mullet.
The idea wardrobe is this:
Jeans, a button up (with or without a sweater) and loafers. Comfortable, stylish, and doesn’t send the opposite sex screaming.
Ian just came straight from work, so he had on slacks, a french cuff shirt, Arsenal cufflinks and black loafers. He looked great. A bit overdressed, but he didn’t have time to change, so I had a very attractive and stylish date.
Guys, grabbing a drink with your friends at the local pub is one thing. Going to an ACTUAL event event means making effort. Swap the sambas or running shoes for some loafers of driving moccasins. Swap the hoodie for a sweater or a track jacket. TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT. It’s not that difficult.
Until next week, gentlemen. We’re going to discuss purging your closet. 🙂