Ok friends, real talk. WHY do swimsuits not cover your bum any longer?? Why is every one piece suit advertising “cheeky” coverage- which is code for “none at all.” ??? Here’s the deal. I’m a mom, but even if I wasn’t a mom I would have an issue with this.

I doubt this is news- but I am not one of those glamorous women that sit poolside sipping fruity looking drinks while I develop my tan. I’ve also never been a girl that buys a swimsuit that isn’t meant to get wet. (YES friends, those exist.) Always defaulting to more of a “function over fashion” person when it comes to pool gear because you’re like one mishap away from ending up naked. (I’m looking at you- strapless swimsuits.)

Um, no.

So, after several texts from friends (including my friend/photographer Jacque) who have lamented finding cute suits only to discover a non-existent backside- I decided to pose this question: What’s a girl got to do to get a swimsuit to cover her bum???? Apparently, I have to hunt for them. So here are my favorite swimsuits that I don’t actually hate.

One | Two | Three | FourFive

I tried to pick suits in several different styles because I know one suit doesn’t fit all. (And after you have a baby- literally no suits fit AT all. *pause for mom joke eyeroll*)

Now, if you’ll excuse me- I need to go give my eyes a rest. I have never looked at so many bottoms in my LIFE. I’m slightly scarred. Also, if you haven’t seen the I Mom So Hard swimsuit edition, it’s a riot.

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Adriele